Drained

My body feels heavy and my eyes are burning and I feel like I am losing grip with reality. Wait, no... I am not losing grip, that isn't the right words for this matter. That usage of words would imply that I am going crazy, which is entirely not the case to be very honest. What I am feeling is an increasingly lack of control with the direction of my life. And thanks to that little feeling of helplessness, I think that is the leading cause of my present state.

But to make an incredibly long story short, I've had about 8 hours of sleep in the past 2 days and I think I am feeling that catch up to me. As I said, my eyes and burning and my body feels heavy like I am about to drop dead asleep at any given moment. But the messed up part about all of this is I can't go to sleep! I mean I will sleep for maybe 3-4 hours, but once I wake up... that is it.

I am wide awake!

And the routine lately has had me waking up at 2am or the kicker last night was about 10-11pm. I know I have to sleep, but I just can't seem to get myself at ease enough to be able to relax and sleep.

Gotta get some sleep or I think I will finally, literally, go insane...

Not a fun idea for sure.