Madness by any other name is still madness
I'm bored right now and I haven't the faintest clue as to how to pass the time away without going insane. I could clean up around my place, but that requires a level of effort and dedication unforseen around these here parts in many a moons.
Of course there is also the ever cheerful task of laundry, but again, effort and dedication required and so... maybe another day.
Then there is option number three, which brings me right back here to this little blog of mind. I could write! Type! Type away to my heart's content, to let loose whatever it might be that floats through this brain of mine. I haven't done that in ages and I think it is so very long overdue by now.
But where to begin? How shall I start? What could set off the mind to such an extent as to let loose without fear or regret?
One moment please, I need a moment of silence to ponder and piece together a fool proof plot for the matter at hand. These sort of things take thought and preperation and dedication... and effort... curses! I have fallen into the trap when I least expected it!
It is too late now though, because the plot has been thought up and finalized and it is already in motion. I shall unleash an entry with a lot of things said that may very will end up meaning absolutely nothing! Where by rendering all of this as useless chatter and drooling!
Or will it?
Madness by any other name is still madness, though we will be to the point from here on. To the point indeed! And so now it begins, the beginning of the end! Or maybe it is the end of the beginning? Or maybe it is a few minutes before the end? Or was it the beginning? Ah, damn confusion! Forget it! Onward! Forward! March towards insanity's end!
And to start, what do we have here folks!? A double post today! In case it isn't known to all by now, I'm freaking bored and sitting around the house is absolutely no good way to pass the time! I think I just might be going completely out of my mind, which somehow draws up the idea from the depths of my brain, the idea I had for work.
Fun, fun old work...
I've been suppressing this increasingly strong urge to start arguments with myself and I don't mean anything subdued either. I mean full blown, I hate your guts because you work too goddamn slow kind of arguments. OK, so maybe I could argue with others rather then with myself here. But considering there really isn't anyone else in my department... what is a guy to do then?
Another idea, along the lines of what I just mentioned, is to hold meetings with nothing but empty chairs around. No other actual people, just the damn chairs. And, again, just scream and yell and scold and berate them all for being such unproductive workers.
Someone asked me the other day if working by myself is getting to me and what did I answer?
"Nah, not yet..."
Because clearly, my mind is still functioning properly (as it always had, mind you) and there is absolutely no evidence to suggest otherwise.
At least nothing anyone at my workplace could find, unless they managed to probe my mind and uncover the existence of my blog here. Then they would see what I have in mind and that would ultimately lead to my demise. But really, if they could do all of that... wow, what in the hell would they be doing at a Japanese grocery store anyway? Shouldn't they be working with some kind of... um... undercover, intel-gathering thing for the government or something?
Wait, while I'm at it, what in the hell am I doing in a Japanese grocery store anyway!? I can't even read/write/understand Japanese! And I'm part Japanese!!??
It's always fun to have a customer approach me and just let loose in Japanese. I imagine the momentary look of a defeat must be too much for these old people to comprehend. God knows I just hear mumbling the likes of which don't think any school or class or anything could ever hope to help me understand whatever it is these people are saying to me.
Ah, the things that desperation will force a person to do when they have absolutely no other options left. Maybe next up, I'll apply at a Chinese restaurant. Not as a bus boy or dishwasher, but as a cook no less. Can I cook Chinese food? Hell no!
So if you're in Hawaii, around the island of Oahu, beware of the Chinese restaurants. You never know, I could very well be the cook in the back cooking up some random concoction such as cardboard soup with three month old noodles in oyster sauce and curdled milk surprise. Speaking of noodles, ever see noodles after it has begun to mold over? It looks kind of creamy....
In other news, the weather here has gone from raining to sunny, effectively burning my brain in ways that aren't all that humane. Thanks Mother Nature, that is what I really wished for today.
I could move my ass to a different part of my apartment and sit down in front of my TV and play Blue Dragon. But fears of that $400 piece of machine breaking on me is just too much pain for this heart to endure. Should it really happen, I think I'd smash it to tiny little pieces and mail it back to Microsoft in a trash bag wrapped in duct tape.
But then I doubt the postal service will accept it. Where would I put the stamps anyway?
Anyone read about the Shaolin Monks that are totally pissed off because someone on the internet said some monks got their asses handed to them by a Japanese Ninja. Hell, they even went as far as to get a lawyer! Are you fucking kidding me?
Imagine watching a Bruce Lee movie and when the bad guy hits Lee, the fight stops and the room fills with men in black suits and dark shades.
Men in Black, the Chinese version you wonder? Nope! Mr. Lee has just executed his most lethal move! The Lawsuit! Dun dun duuun!
I don't know, but somehow I think I'd end up sitting down to watch a movie like that. It would an awesome comedy!
And now I think I will leave this blog alone and just walk away silently. I must do it or who knows? Maybe the effects could contagious. So now I shall get off of the chair I’m sitting on and then the plan is simple. I will now conduct a futile search for something productive to do to pass the time and hope that my state of mind will return to “normal.”
Or else the world be damned, it has been put on notice as of whatever moment is required for such a notice be to issued. Or something. Insanity will run rampant and the first target on the list will be good old work… office chairs beware!
Side note: After as many posts as I've done here, I've finally gotten around to using the bold button. I made bold many words to which I think summerize what I was saying in each part. Really though, I was just having fun with it and so it'll probably make very little to no sense at all. It was still fun to me!
No comments:
Post a Comment