Turning Point... Where?

So here I go again, another day and another entry and what shall I go on about today? Yes, yes... I think I will go back to what has been an ever present theme these past few writings.

Work.

Surely it is a dull and mudane subject, I mean I could be writing about one of millions of other things right now. But as I had mentioned previously, it has been an ever growing blight of mine and it continues to be so with each passing day.

What was the problem again? Oh yes.

Do more and more work and get paid absolute shit. The problem isn't unique, I know. That is what a person like me gets for working right out of high school, rather then jumping head first into college.

Anyway. now that the problem at hand has been laid out, what next? Well I imagine the solution to it all should come fairly easily and obviously, right? Well yes and equally, no.

I can do one of two things: 1. Go to college and work and study towards getting a job that'll pay better. Or option number 2, find a new job and continue on my merry way.

I could go to college, but my present situation won't allow me to do so and I'm a lazy fuck. Whoops, I think I made myself look bad just then. Well to spell it out a little better, while I'm not homeless, I think I make just enough money not to fall into poverty. Well, truth be told... I don't think I make it onto any earnings bracket.

And then there is option number 2...

It would seem that this little ditty would be the answer to all things called trouble, as far as my little life is concerned. If it pays better, then why the heck not?

I guess the easiest way to put it is this....

I know what is wrong and I know what I can do to resolve the problem. I know it, the throughts are there in my very brain, even as I type away right now. But I just can't do it.

Is it wrong for me to want to find something else? To actually explore my options and seek something that will allow me to live a little better a life?

The answer, I wager, should be a resounding no.

So again, knowing that... then why in the hell can't I make the moves I need to make? So days I jus wish I could just totally, completely change the way my brain worked. Just rewire, rewrite and try this whole thing again. Maybe then I could do what I need to do and be done with it.

...And the point of writing this all out was to help myself lay things out and maybe convince myself on a proper course of action. Wow, and here I am making it sound as if I was forced to make a choice between war or peace. Like my problem is that big!

Then again, for a simple minded being like me... I guess even the smallest of troubles can turn out to be a mountain of a headache.