Destiny Unfulfilled?

It is getting a little strange, to be having this many "life" posts in one month, considering I tend to do only a very, very few of them (usually) in the span of a couple of months. Anyway though, I'm thinking it is because of my extra free time that my mind has been wandering more then ever.

And what can I say? Writing has been the medium with which I can best convey these thoughts. At one point in time I even considered taking writing up as a serious profession, but the realization is that to be as such, you'd have to make certain sacrifices. As of now, that is something I am simply just not ready to do (maybe I'll blog about that someday).

Anyway, the purpose of this writing is as it tends to always been for me. To vent out thoughts, to see things out before my eyes and to hopefully make it easier to understand what the heck is going on in my head. Much, much easier said then done most days.

Right now my mind is just thinking some things over and I am trying to sort out the mess. The feelings I have right now is just a strong unease? I feel like I should have taken a different path in life. I just feel like there could have been more, or rather, I could have been much more then what I am now.

What helped bring this one was the fact that I am nearing three years at my current job at that grocery store. It isn't that much time to most people, but it feels like a lifetime to me. And to be honest, the last time I had the realization of how much time had passed, I had "snapped" and I quit my then job (At McD) not long afterward.

Of all things, what is important to me is I want to find a company that I can actually work with. One that will actually look at me for the work that I do and not because I kissed the most ass. Sounds impossible doesn't it? And don't want to be in a place that spouts off bullshit usage of "team work." I've heard that in so many different places and only to see that it absolutely did not exist was just brought me down.

But then, I know this is what I get for not hitting college right out of high school. At the time, however, I was just glad to be out of school and away from home. So much so that I just couldn't focus on homework, tests and all of that.

Maybe that part does not matter as much as I think, I wouldn't mind busting ass for a small company. So long as things are fair, they say what think and they mean what they say, then I wouldn't have an issue really.

Bottom line, I do not want to be the guy who spent all of his adult life working at a dead end job that makes him feel like shit. Worse yet, then he looks back over the fifteen years of life spent, knowing that it is an investment you will never get back, and realizing just how much his life truly sucks.

It has been my mission, these past many years, to continue forward in search of that something greater. The jobs that I have now are not for life, I assure you of that right now. To me, they are nothing more then stepping stones towards a higher goal. A greater purpose, if you will. One piece of advice that has always stuck in my mind is this: Always aim higher.

Believe me when I say, I wholly intend to.