Not as Bright as I Hoped

So having this second job is good and all, but at the end of the day I'm just not "feeling it." I don't find myself enjoying it and really, the only thing that is it's saving grace at this point is the sheer fact that it pays better then any other job I've had in the past 4-5 years.

And truth be told, my motivation at my other job has sunken even lower then it was before. Not a good thing huh?

I'm just not satisfied, not in the way that I thought I would be after taking on this second job. I surely don't want to spend the rest of my life working all day and night, that much is for sure. It absolutely sucks to wake up in the morning and have that feeling like you just don't want to do a damn thing.

But I know this isn't something that is unique to me, but just really a fact of life. I understand that this is the way things go, but that isn't to say that I have to like it all that much either. Maybe what I am trying to say to myself here is, maybe while the present opportunities are good, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to keep a watch out anyway. Never know what might be happening out there...

One thing that I hate about this new job is this sickening feeling that twists my stomach up into a ball. Anxiety maybe?

I don't know what it is, but every day since I've started this new job that feeling has been there. Maybe it could even be just a simple case of a new job jitters? I certainly hope that is the case. Which now that I think about it, it just might be the case. I mean the feeling does go away once I start to work.

Well, time to find something to do to try and take my mind off of things before having to head out. It can't be a good thing that I called in sick from my first job either. I'm sure there were a thousand bad thoughts and words to be had at my expense today.

If that is the truth, whatever... that place pisses me off some days anyway...

Breath of Fire 3

I was/am amazed to see this game (Breath of Fire 3) at a local game store last night. I didn't even realize it was being ported! But I don't feel that bad after reading it was released in Europe and Japan, but was rejected here in the US.

Blah.

So anyway, I was considering on picking this up and I actually was leaning towards waiting for a US release. But then I guess my consideration has been deeply altered, now that it would seem that the possibility of it coming to the US is next to never. And the version I seen was at least the UK version, so thankfully it is in English.

It took a while (that's bad huh?) to remember playing and enjoying this one many, many years ago. From what I can recall, it wasn't a bad RPG, maybe one of the few that didn't really feel as bad as those that came later for the PS2.

I think what I liked the most was the ability to combine stones to allow the main character to transform into various forms of a dragon. From what I can recall (doing a lot of recalling), while it wasn't the deepest system around, it helped me get hooked to the game.

And if nothing else, at least my other neglected PSP games will have a new friend to "hang out" with if I do end up buying this. I really need to do some hardcore game playing one of these years to catch up...

And I will stop here, before I recall too many things and end up driving myself crazy in the process. Soon, you may even see me writing "back in the day, many, many long years ago..."

Getting old sucks. Diapers, prunes, bad memory, eye sight, hearing and dentures that will always fall out, here I come!

Bernie Mac

There are just too many people dying this year and when I heard that Bernie Mac passed away, man that is just too much. I could probably drag this on, but instead I'll keep it short and simple.

I loved his brand of comedy and I respect the honest of what the man had to say. And he wasn't bad an actor either, I always wished he got a bigger part in all of the Ocean's movies. What else can I say? He will be missed, but never, ever forgotten...

A Thought or So

I've been meaning to blog a little sooner, but having to run between 2 jobs has kept me busier then I've ever been before. It has been a nice change of pace (thus far) and the new challenges have helped me feel a lot more motivated then I've been in ages.

Plus, it is just so nice to be able to show up at my other job and leave after only a few hours. I don't have to deal with so much crap anymore and things just feel lighter for me. Besides, you've simply got no idea how gratifying it feels for me (I'm easy to please) to just be able to finally just leave like everyone else! To hell with being the only full timer!

Anyway though, quick thoughts here...

I've just visited a site called "OverClocked ReMix," which features people's remix versions of video game music. Now let me tell you, I've quickly become addicted (damn near obsessed) with the site. Within the past hour or two, I've downloaded nearly 30 songs and I intend on looking for more stuff in the very near future.

Man I wish my MP3 player was working, I'd love to listen to this stuff on the go...

On an unrelated note, It seems I've been the victim of a savage attack by perps unknown. All I know for sure is I've got a huge goddamn bite on my leg that is itchy as hell!

World domination in Civilization Revolution has been fun and being a pissed off leader (with a massive army at his command) has been helpful. Helpful in that I can release tension by simply flooding my enemies with an army unlike anything they can defend against!

Maybe someday I'll venture only and play against other humans...

One last thought here, or actually second to the last thought here. I also downloaded the demo for Geometry Wars 2 and I'm enjoying the heck out of it! Now I just need to somehow get enough points to get the whole thing now...

Ok and then the last thought before I scamper away here...

Man, I am hungry!