So having this second job is good and all, but at the end of the day I'm just not "feeling it." I don't find myself enjoying it and really, the only thing that is it's saving grace at this point is the sheer fact that it pays better then any other job I've had in the past 4-5 years.
And truth be told, my motivation at my other job has sunken even lower then it was before. Not a good thing huh?
I'm just not satisfied, not in the way that I thought I would be after taking on this second job. I surely don't want to spend the rest of my life working all day and night, that much is for sure. It absolutely sucks to wake up in the morning and have that feeling like you just don't want to do a damn thing.
But I know this isn't something that is unique to me, but just really a fact of life. I understand that this is the way things go, but that isn't to say that I have to like it all that much either. Maybe what I am trying to say to myself here is, maybe while the present opportunities are good, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to keep a watch out anyway. Never know what might be happening out there...
One thing that I hate about this new job is this sickening feeling that twists my stomach up into a ball. Anxiety maybe?
I don't know what it is, but every day since I've started this new job that feeling has been there. Maybe it could even be just a simple case of a new job jitters? I certainly hope that is the case. Which now that I think about it, it just might be the case. I mean the feeling does go away once I start to work.
Well, time to find something to do to try and take my mind off of things before having to head out. It can't be a good thing that I called in sick from my first job either. I'm sure there were a thousand bad thoughts and words to be had at my expense today.
If that is the truth, whatever... that place pisses me off some days anyway...
2 comments:
So what IS this new job, anyway? Totally different than the grocery store? Or something similar?
Unfortunately, only you can answer the questions you're posing here. =( I know that whenever I've started ANY new job, I spend the first few weeks (at least) feeling pretty anxious, freaked out, and whatever. It usually passes once I realize that I'm performing my functions adequately.
Since you've kept your other job, if you determine that this new one really isn't for you, I'm guessing that you'll be able to go back full time.
Give it time, though. I've always felt that when I make decisions based on too short a time period, I start to obsess that maybe I shouldn't have made the decision...
I'm just starting up with the Navy Exchange (in their distribution center). So it is somewhat different then the grocery store, though I did have to do some of the same things at my other job.
I think I am going to stick with it for now. All I can do is just do whatever I can do as best as I can.
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