I will say in advance here that I am just out of it, numbed even by this whole tragidy. This is meant to pay respects to the wrestler Chris Benoit. The person behind the wrestler is another story, though that is something I won't get into (explained later). I hope my words make sense and if they do not, please forgive me.
I was in shocked to learn about the passing of Chris Benoit, whom I learned from my boss at work. I couldn't believe it... the feeling, the disbelief, felt the same as when I woke up on a Sunday morning to learn that Eddie Guerrero passed away.
But then I heard later that day that it was being looked into as a double murder-suicide. That did not help any and my mind went from disbelief to running a million questions a second. How? Why? And now more and more details have been let out, which brings us to today...
Over the past many hours, I debated whether or not I should even be writing these words that I about to write. Surely the wrestling fan in me wanted to pay my respects to a hell of a wrestler, perhaps one of the greatest ever. But then there was me, the guy that goes through life and works every day, etc, etc and I wondered. Would this be right? Would it be right to spare a kind word or two for a murderer?
Chris Benoit. Murderer.
To be honest, those two just don't mesh in my mind and I still can't believe it is actually the god honest truth. My mind keeps saying it isn't the same guy. It can't be. It just can't be the guy I've watched, like countless other fans, fighting to be respected in wrestling. Right? This can't be the same guy that won the World title at Wrestlemania 20, celebrated the win with his best friend Eddie Guerrero and family in the ring.
It just couldn't be.
But then I've been reading this over and over again and I believe the following is true: The person we see on TV and the person behind of that character can and usually are entirely different people.
Still, as a wrestling fan and as a person, it is still difficult to understand or grasp how or why this could happen. What pushed Benoit over the edge? And would it even have been preventable? What drove the nail home for me has been the last day or so with reports saying that Benoit did in fact kill his family and then took his own life thereafter. Like everyone else, I can wonder and speculate and I can draw my own conclusions. But really... the only people that truly know the answer about why this happened are dead.
I can't even begin to imagine what the families of Chris and Nancy are going through right now.
In short, the purpose of this blog today is not to pass judgment on a man I did not know. I'll leave that to the countless many who are doing so at this moment. I knew him through what I saw on TV for many years and that is the extent of my knowing Chris Benoit. I respect the hell out of his talent and his ability, that much I can say for certain here and now.
Now don't get me wrong about this, I am not supporting or condoning the murders in the least. However, as I said previously, I'm not about to pass judgment on a guy I didn't know. There are a lot of people already doing so and that is something I just will not do. To me, as far as Chris Benoit the person is concerned, I will not go there. Truthfully, I am just numb over the whole thing and I don't know what to think or believe about this. To me it is just mind boggling...
Bottom line here is this... this entry is meant to pay respect to Chris Benoit the wrestler. Like I said earlier, I will not go any further into my thoughts or what not about Chris Benoit the person, since I did not know him I will give him at least that much respect. And since I am beginning to ramble, I will simply end this by saying:
Thank you.
R.I.P Chris, Nancy & Daniel.
