Prologue

While this post is dated for August 26th, 2006, in truth I am writing this on July 21th, 2009.

The purpose of this entry and why I am placing it at the very beginning is simply because I wanted to place a start to all of this. In a lot of ways, beneath the words and pictures of movies and video games, is the truth of who I am. My eventual hope is that I am building a grander picture of who I really am. My thoughts and feelings, my likes and dislikes. The joy in life and the pain in death. Everything that defines me and my life, I'd like to leave a trace of it behind. Because if there is one thing that life has taught me over these years I have been alive, is that life can truly end at any moment.

And I don't mean all of this in a twisted, morbid way either. My fear is that something would happen to me and I would forget everything that has ever happened to me in my life. Granted it isn't a life of fame and fortune, but I am still proud to be who I am and to be where I am today.

For a long while, I had given thought as to the meaning of the name of my blog. "Evanescent Twilight" is fitting, because if you look at the meaning of "Evanescent," it means fading, fleeting. And "Twilight" means the period between dawn and sunrise. The meaning, to me, is fading life. Life is not infinite and day by day we are all slowly walking towards our ends.

Some days I feel as though I am already at the peak of my life. I feel like what I am today is as great or as good as I will ever be. And that thought scares me, because I feel like I am capable of much more then what I am now. I want to do good and I want to be a better person that people like my father ever were. This blog, hopefully, will serve as a means to help remind me of past and how far I've come in life. I hope this will, in turn, help guide me to a better future.

I don't want to be a person driven by greed and anger, like my father succumb to being. I don't want to give up on life and let myself fall into a downward spiral. Regardless of what people think and say about me, be it family or so called "friends," it is my ultimate dream and lifelong goal to one day be able to stand proud and finally being able to look each and everyone of them and say loudly and proudly...

Fuck you!